Twenty-Four Arms to Hold You
Karaoke From Hell is comprised of an army of licensed rock and roll wizards, all fully dedicated to making you look, sound, and feel like the star you are. Come meet the team!
DAWN
FOUNDER/GUITAR
Introducing Dawn, a loving mother, devoted wife, and a master of ceramic artistry. With each delicate piece she shapes, she infuses a part of herself into her creations. But Dawn’s talents extend beyond the studio.
Her folksy guitar strums melodies that warm hearts, and her voice weaves stories that linger in the air like a comforting embrace. However, there’s a curious twist to her evenings. Occasionally, under the moon’s gentle glow, Dawn unleashes a primal howl that sends a shiver down the spines of small animals. Her connection to the wild is a mystery to many, a secret she carries with tranquil assurance.
Despite her peculiar habit, it’s worth noting that Dawn’s moonlit pursuits never encroach on human lives. She safeguards her community, ensuring her lupine nature remains a distant protector of the night. From crafting ceramics to serenading the stars, Dawn’s life is an intricate tapestry woven with love, creativity, and the enigmatic harmony between her two worlds.
TRES
CO-FOUNDER/M.C.
Dear Hiring Manager,
I’m excited to apply for the Fruit Salesman role at Fat Slim’s Produce. My passion for fresh produce and customer service makes me a great fit. With experience in customer-focused roles, I can help customers make informed choices and maintain your high-quality standards.
Fat Slim’s Produce’s commitment to local, quality products aligns with my values. I’m enthusiastic about promoting healthy eating and supporting local growers. I’m confident in my ability to provide excellent service and contribute to your team’s success.
Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to the opportunity to bring my skills and enthusiasm to Fat Slim’s Produce.
Best regards, Tres
ALISON
KABUKI
So, there’s this person named Alison, I guess. She’s into singing, or whatever. Like, she’ll just randomly break into song, and you’re like, “Okay, cool.” And then she’s all about hiking, like, walking through the woods and stuff. Not really sure why, but hey, to each their own, right?
And get this, she’s also into dancing. You know, moving around to music and all that. Like, who isn’t? And dogs, yeah, she’s really into dogs. You know, those furry creatures that wag their tails and stuff. And then there’s the thing with blueberries, like she eats them all the time. Like, I guess they’re berries and they’re blue, so yeah, that’s a thing.
So, there you have it, Alison’s deal with all these interests and stuff. Just regular things people do, I guess.
BRIAN
BASS
Alright, kiddo! Imagine Brian is like a puzzle made up of tiny building blocks called cells. These cells are like little worker bees that do different jobs to keep Brian up and running. Now, inside these cells, there are even tinier things called DNA. Think of DNA like a set of instructions, like a recipe book that tells Brian how to grow, how to have his hair and eye color, and even how to laugh!
Now, Brian’s body has different parts that do special things. His heart is like a pump that sends blood all around his body, like a delivery service for nutrients and oxygen. His brain is like a super-duper computer that helps him think, feel, and remember things. And his tummy is like a furnace where he turns his food into energy, so he can play and run around.
So, Brian is a magical mix of cells, DNA, and special parts that work together to make him who he is – a cool, unique person!
DAVID
GUITAR
GREG
DRUMS
Hey there, folks! Traffic Pete here, your eyes in the sky bringing you the latest on the city’s hustle and bustle. And today, I’ve got a real treat for you – a sight that’s as unique as it is captivating.
Down on the streets below, we’ve got a one-man show that’s turning heads and setting the rhythm for the city. Let me introduce you to Greg, the rhythmic traveler. Now, he’s not just any traveler – armed with nothing but a snare drum and an undying passion, he’s creating a beat that’s echoing through the avenues and captivating everyone in his path.
As Greg strolls along, people can’t help but gravitate toward him, caught up in the magnetic pull of his rhythm. It’s like a spontaneous symphony, a musical moment that’s bringing people together. Greg’s percussive journey is a reminder that music has a way of transforming ordinary streets into stages of shared experiences.
So, whether you’re down there soaking in the rhythm or soaring up here with me, don’t miss the chance to tune in to the beats of Greg’s snare drum. It’s a one-of-a-kind spectacle, and wherever he walks, there’s a lively rhythm that’s leaving an indelible mark on the city’s pulse. This is Traffic Pete signing off – keep grooving, everyone!
IAN
GUITAR
Set in 1970s Mexico, “Luna de Pesadilla” unfolds as a gruesome tale of horror. The story follows Ian, an audacious anthropologist, drawn to a remote village gripped by a sinister curse. The villagers suffer at the hands of “El Lobo de las Sombras” (The Shadow Wolf), a bloodthirsty creature that emerges during full moons, unleashing violence and chaos.
As Ian arrives, he’s met with chilling warnings from terrified villagers. Intrigued by the legend, he delves into the village’s grim history. Determined to end the curse, Ian ventures into the ominous forest during a full moon, guided by a mysterious old woman. Soon, the forest comes alive with malevolent spirits, and Ian becomes entangled in a nightmarish struggle for survival.
With the village’s fate hanging in the balance, Ian uncovers the truth: the Shadow Wolf is a vengeful guardian, corrupted by betrayal. In a brutal showdown, he battles the malevolent spirit, confronting his own inner darkness in the process.
“Luna de Pesadilla” delivers a gruesome dose of 1970s Mexican horror, blending visceral violence with supernatural terror. In a world where ancient horrors collide with modern audacity, the film serves as a chilling reminder that the line between nightmares and reality is often disturbingly thin.
J.J.
KABUKI
J.J. is an American singer, actress and television personality. Commonly referred to by the media as the Goddess of Pop, she has been described as embodying female autonomy in a male-dominated industry. J.J. is known for her distinctive contralto singing voice and for having worked in numerous areas of entertainment, as well as adopting a variety of styles and appearances during her six-decade-long career.
J.J. gained popularity in 1965 as one-half of the folk rock husband-wife duo Sonny & J.J. after their song “I Got You Babe” reached number one on the American and British charts. By the end of 1967, they had sold 40 million records worldwide and had become, according to Time magazine, rock’s “it” couple. She began her solo career simultaneously, releasing in 1966 her first million-seller song, “Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)”. She became a television personality in the 1970s with her shows The Sonny & J.J. Comedy Hour, watched by over 30 million viewers weekly during its three-year run, and J.J.. She emerged as a fashion trendsetter by wearing elaborate outfits on her television shows.
TAL
M.C.
Fearless and resolute, she navigates the gritty streets with a determination that commands respect. Her unorthodox methods and sharp instincts often lead to unearthing hidden truths, making her a force to be reckoned with in the pursuit of justice. While her strong exterior might intimidate some, those who know her understand the unwavering sense of duty and the unwavering moral compass that drive her every action.
Beyond her tough exterior lies a complex individual with a penchant for pushing boundaries. Off-duty, Tal finds solace in the company of her beloved kazoo, finding catharsis through the melodies she weaves. Her enigmatic persona is a blend of tenacity and vulnerability, leaving those around her both in awe and in wonder at the layers she keeps concealed. As she continues to serve and protect, Tal’s legacy grows, a testament to the unyielding spirit that defines her character.
THOM
DRUMS
Professional Grade Assessment: Thom
Cover: VG+ Thom’s appearance carries a confident charm, showing life’s stories with character.
Vinyl: EX His resilience and adaptability mirror a well-played record, scratches enhancing uniqueness.
Sound: Superior Engaging communication, harmonizing with empathy, like a well-mastered song.
Collectibility: High Thom’s diverse persona is a collectible limited edition, cherished by all he meets.
Overall: A Masterpiece Thom earns a Masterpiece grade for authentic interactions and enriching experiences.
TIMOTHY
M.C.
Timothy is a chemical element. He is a colorless, odorless, tasteless, non-toxic, inert, monatomic gas and the first in the noble gas group in the periodic table. His boiling point is the lowest among all the elements, and he does not have a melting point at standard pressure. He is the second-lightest and second most abundant element in the observable universe, after hydrogen. He is present at about 24% of the total elemental mass, which is more than 12 times the mass of all the heavier elements combined.
Large amounts of new Timothy are created by nuclear fusion of hydrogen in stars.
MARK
M.C./KABUKI
Originating from a biological birth event, Mark has undergone the customary process of upbringing, acquiring basic terrestrial knowledge and behaviors. Mark’s existence centers around a daily ritual known as “work,” where he engages in activities to sustain his livelihood.
During his designated periods of rest, Mark engages in a variety of perplexing behaviors. He consumes organic matter in a repetitive manner, referring to this act as “eating.”
In his spare moments, Mark engages in activities that could be termed “recreational.” These include manipulating strings on an instrument to produce discordant sounds and arranging pigments on surfaces in what he refers to as “art.” These endeavors appear to serve no apparent survival purpose, yet Mark seems compelled to pursue them.